I have a mental illness – Part 1

Yes, I suffer from a mental illness – my friends are laughing right now with comments such as – we know that, this isn’t new news  – lol.

Fact of the matter is that I was diagnosed in 2001 with clinical depression. Looking back I have probably suffered since my early teens.  It got to the point where I was struggling to function in my day to day living (mainly when on my own – amazing the mask we “put on” for people)   A friend suggested I could suffer from depression so off to the Doctor I went. Clinical depression – this depressed me even more at that time.

I had an amazing Doctor – she put me on medication but only if I would see a psychiatrist or an equal.  She told me it will not be solved just with medication. I agreed with her as I had been self medicating for many many years with alcohol and that certainly didn’t help me.

Over time I noticed a lot of changes – I wasn’t as angry, or anxious, I could get my “to do” list done (well as much as I could without procrastination which is “normal” for me), I stopped crying all the time and I  generally felt better.

Despite all this I still felt like I had a dirty secret.  If you tell people you have a mental illness they almost visibly take a step back. I am very open about the depression, what I have gone through, what I STILL go through & will for the rest of my life.

Why do I talk about it and am so transparent about it??  If I can help just ONE person to realize they are not alone, that there is a support system for them – then I will keep talking and try to reach more people.  I am not worried about what people say about me with this (I admit I am still working on this in other areas – lol).

My mission is to help one person at a time to realize that this isn’t a dirty secret, talk about it, ask for help (these are not easy to do) & know there are other people out there – YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Please share this to anyone and everyone.  You never know who may be suffering from depression (or other mental illnesses) and wears a mask every day.  I did for over 30 years – until it cracked.

 

 

I’m not perfect

I know , I know – some of you are absolutely stunned by this statement.  I do apologize for dropping that bombshell but …….. I’m not perfect.  Nor do I want to be.  I do however want to be better in a lot more areas of my life.

What brought this thought about??  I post a lot about my meals, what I eat, the salads, the meals I cook which are healthy and yummy, about my food prep and all the good foods I have BUT I also thought I need to be totally honest & open about my not so healthy food :). Soooooo it’s confession time.

Yesterday I had a toasted bread roll with butter & peanut butter.  Now some of you are say – that isn’t that bad occasionally but for me it leads to more and more.  Today I had a bun toasted with butter & peanut butter, 2 cookies, 3 sour keys & some cheese (trying to avoid this). It becomes a snowball effect – I totally get it when I hear people say – “I ate a cookie & put on 30lbs”.  I eat all of this on top of most of my prepped food or maybe instead of prepped food which is where it becomes an issue for me.

There are way more food issues that I have to be careful of but that’s another blog. This is just saying I need to be more open & transparent & make confessions – you will only get the ones about food – lol

As I said I don’t want to be perfect. I don’t want people to think I am perfect. I want people to see that I make mistakes, get off track, enjoy having something not so healthy every so often and hopefully can still inspire people to stay on their journey no matter how many side trips they make.

I don’t want to become obsessed about what I eat and do for exercise.  I do however want to eat healthily, be knowledgeable, overcome my emotional eating and my overeating, to make better choices 80-90% of the time, to exercise every day , to make exercise part of my life and not just “working out”, to enjoy my life without missing out.  To do all this it means I need to be determined and strong willed to get to that point.   There are some foods I may never eat again as they derail me but I am sure there are alternatives I will love which will help me achieve a healthy lifestyle.

All of me

Healing Every Aspect Life Treasures in Humans

 It has taken a while to write this post – I kept re-writing it and I couldn’t work out why.  Suddenly I had an aha moment – I was trying to write technically and not from the heart.  I am not a health professional – I am just on my own health journey.

Health is important to me. It hasn’t always been that way trust me.  I did however transfer from one town to another as I realized my liver couldn’t take another year there – sigh it didn’t change but that’s another blog.

I think everyone has to work out what your health means to YOU. To me it is all aspects of me – mind, body & soul.  I have tried working on one at a time but have found that hasn’t worked –  no good habits stuck despite the knowledge I may have gathered along the way. I truly believe you need to work on all three at once for it to be a lifestyle change.

                                          

For years I would beat myself up for any mistake I made regarding my health and my life.  I have come to the point where I accept any speed bumps I come across, forgive my self for it, learn from it and try to replace the bad habit with a better one.  I got to this place in my life from choices I have made – good or bad.  It is now up to me to make better choices.  I also didn’t get to here overnight so it won’t get fixed overnight.  I don’t want a quick fix or a short term fix – I want a change in my lifestyle habits so I can do more, live a healthier and happier life for a looooong time.  Yep – I am going to be around in your lives for many years 🙂

I tell myself what I would tell kids in my class – you start every day with a clean slate.  It’s up to you what you write on that slate. I am not perfect (ok, I am close – lol) but I am closer every day to where I want to be.

                                                   

Proper support – and I don’t mean underwear :)

Throughout this journey of mine I have so many people who have support me, inspire me, cheer me on and just help me in so many ways. I love this, appreciate this and need it to keep going. The hardest issue for anyone on a journey of change – whether it be health, emotional, personal, financial, work, living …… I could go on and on but I am sure your eyelids are drooping already. Take a sip of coffee, tea, water or whatever you have while reading this and lets move on 🙂

The first thing we find very hard (for most of us) is to ask for help and support when we are making big changes in our lives. Quite often this means we will gain new people in our lives who love where we are going BUT it also means we are going to lose some people who DON’T like where we are going. This happens as it changes the friendship status we have with them and some people just don’t want that to change as it serves their purpose and needs and suddenly you are looking after YOUR needs and purpose.  Keep going and stay strong with your journey and how it will help you.

The second thing we find hard (and I am still working on this one) is to work out what kind of support we need, want and are willing to accept. On my journey of health I have had many days when people (with good intentions) will see me eating something I probably shouldn’t and they tell me this. My reaction depends on any number of things. – how guilty I feel, how good I feel, how emotional I feel, what time of the month it is (you know it ladies!!!) and to be honest – who it is . I feel for these people as my reaction can be – you are right and thanks for having my best interest at heart , who do you think you are???, how dare you and now I will eat more of this, really?? and you want to die now for saying that????  Or any combination of such responses – lol  I have been through them all at some stage. The sad part is that it is not always their fault.

If you are on a journey and want support from people you have to think long and hard at how you want them to support you. I have many people who support me in many ways. There are some people (my coaches who are working with me on my exercise and eating habits) who can tell me not to eat something but if most of my friends or family tell me that it will just get my back up and I will probably swear at you and tell you to take a trip – I am trying to send you on nice trips but not always my reaction.

When people ask you how they can help and support you to achieve your goals be guarded with what you tell them straight away. I tend to answer – “just be my cheerleader, keep telling me I am doing great (even when you can’t always see it), tell me I can and will achieve my goals and I will let you know if there is anything specific I need you do as I go along. ”  As time goes by you will learn what works for you to keep you on the right path to a healthier and happier you.

If you are in someones support system here are a few hints and tips. Be positive to the person whether you see a difference or not, don’t tell them it is easy to drop weight and if you just did this – it is most times not that easy as it is an emotional journey and doesn’t happen overnight, talk to them first about lots of other stuff instead of always mentioning their weight , size, exercise, food etc – people tell you that your size doesn’t matter but that tends to be the opening conversation when you meet them. Yes it is important to them but it doesn’t define them – talk about lots of other things and bring it up later – I am sure it will come up in conversation (it always does at some point) and when it does ask how they are dealing with it or how they are finding it – if you seriously are not interested or don’t want to know – DON’T ASK!!! It is an easy concept and I am sure it is better to not talk about it than be uninterested – for all of us

Finally – just love on people, let them know they are amazing, be aware of what they may be going through and if it comes up let them know you are there for them in whatever way they feel most comfortable with. Also remember it is not just people who have weight to get rid of who are on a healthy journey – it is everyone. No judging – and you will become that good support like a good underwire bra 🙂

Revealing All

To start blogging again is a bit like starting to exercise and get healthy. I know it is good for me and I really want to do it – it is just taking that first step or writing that first word. Once I start either I love it and want to keep going – I have so many ideas swirling around in my head for my blog – soooo here are my first words for 2014.

Now, where to start – I try to be very honest and open about my weight, habits and health journey (taken me many years to get to this point) and at times it may not get a giggle from you. My hope however, is it will help someone and they will realise they are not alone.

Food consumes my thoughts – what I can eat, when I can eat, where I can eat and how much I can eat. It always has from as far back as I can remember. I have come to realise that I need to work on my thoughts towards food and what it does for me – it is fuel to achieve how I want to be healthy. I am an emotional eater – happy, sad, depressed, sick, lonely, bored, celebration – what can I say?? I am an overachiever when it comes to eating 🙂

Over the last few years I have learnt to change what I think and do to help me achieve my goal – which is to be healthy, active and at my goal weight for my body.  A lot of things are things I have learnt before (it is surprising how we know what we need to do but choose not to) and it is only now I am implementing them. Am I perfect?? Heck no!!!!! But I am not trying to be perfect as it is not my goal – I want to be realistic and also live my life and enjoy it. If you know me you know I won’t give up wine (I’m an Aussie – aren’t we supposed to drink every so often???? LOL) and some other delightful food – just learn to celebrate food (a Facebook friend uses this instead of cheating or treating & I love it) and  in moderation.

I now plan and food prep and have meals already to go every day. I am beginning to write everything down that I eat – ok ok I will make sure it is EVERYTHING. I track my water and how much I drink as this is cructial to getting rid of fat. I travel with my wallet in the trunk a lot so it makes it a VERY conscious decision to stop and buy food or go through a drive-thru. I plan where I drive so I don’t go past certain places as I am more likely to buy something I shouldn’t. I also argue a lot with myself in my head – ok sometimes in the car it is out loud and I hope people who pass me think I am singing :). I am continually talking to myself about what it is I want for my health and body – I don’t always win but that is another blog.   Some of these may sound a little crazy or hard to relate to but this is what I go through every day.

I write all of this and open myself up to everyone not for people to feel sorry for me or to get the pats on the back BUT if I can help one person realize they are not alone, can make a change and ask for support AND if it helps one person understand that being overweight is not always just an easy choice of food & exercise – it is sometimes a massive inward struggle and to offer support differently for different people.

Asking for support is not always easy. It is embarrassing to admit a lot of the things I do. I may joke a lot about it but that is often to cover the embarrassment, hurt, to stop me bursting into tears or hiding with those chips or ice cream. There are ways you can support everyone (another blog I will write next ) but it can be a fine line if helping someone or sending them running away.

I am very open to just about everyone these days to help others and not just for me. I know, I know – some of you are worried about what I will tell you next. Weeeeelllllll let me tell you about my dreams. ….. Lol. Don’t worry I will spare you that.

2013 – A new year

January 1, 2013 – the beginning of a new year. In the past I have always talked about resolutions, goals, dreams but never seriously done a good job of writing them down, working out an action plan and moving forward. Do I have them ready for today?? No. Will I have them ready in the next few days??? Yes!!!! The research shows that by writing down your goals and dreams and formulating an action plan there is a higher percentage of them coming fruition.

This is the year I have to seriously take charge of my own life – there is no-one else who is going to do this and I don’t want anyone else to be in total control of my life – but me 🙂 It is not always a pleasant moment when you admit to yourself that something has to change and you are the only one who can change it. It is not easy to admit that there have been too many times when I say I hate something in my life (physical, financial, emotional) and I don’t ever want it to happen again or be put in that position BUT I don’t make the changes needed and I AM in that position again. THIS is what I have to change – take control of my own life and what I do with it. It is time to seriously look at what my goals and dreams are and what my action plans are and actually follow through. Time to stop having any ounce of being a victim or being a “going to do this” kind of person who talks the talk but doesn’t walk the walk.

I am in a position in my life where I have so many people who believe in me, love me unconditionally, support me and want the best for me. Whether I like it or not there are a lot of people whom I inspire with my journey – it is not for me to wonder why but to realise this is a fact of life and it is also what inspires me – to help someone or inspire them to improve their life is a huge goal of mine. Time to step up to the plate and really inspire or help people.

Sooooo, one of my commitments for 2013 – apart from being hotter and funnier than I already am – is to be very focused on my goals – especially financially and physically. I am also going to be very transparent – oh no you say – she is going to tell us more than she already does????? I see people running from the room screaming – lol.

2013 is going to be an amazing year and I am truly blessed with everyone in my life and everyone I haven’t met yet but will and will all improve my life. I am planning on blogging more – both written and videos – I find I enjoy this and it helps me stay on track.

Happy New Year to you all and hope 2013 is the year you want and all your dreams and goals come true.

Another challenge done

Well it has been 5 months since I last blogged – waaaaay too long. Actually that is not true – I was blogging but via video and on facebook. I am including the link and hopefully you can view the videos for my last challenge.

https://apps.vi.com/vistar/channel/547325792?v=M25f55SRXXU

It was an interesting one and I learnt a lot emotionally. I also learnt that I enjoy video blogging – be prepared to see more of that here. I have also decided that I enjoy regular blogging so will start more often but make them shorter ones. It is all a journey and if we can’t laugh through the whole thing then the journey needs to be tweaked so you enjoy it more.

I am very open about any issues or challenges that arise throughout my journey – the thought is that if it helps one person realise they are not alone and I am here to help then I have achieved my goal. The biggest issues for me to work on are my emotional eating (I overeat when I emotionally eat) and to change my procrastination into slight edging everything so it gets done. Doing this with exercise is my goal 🙂

I have decided what my next 90 day challenge will be. I start on Tues Nov 6 which means I will finish on Sun Feb 3. There are four things I am doing on this challenge.

1 – work out every day – I will have a minimum that I have to do 🙂
2 – foam roll every day – ouch swear ouch swear cry ouch swear (if you don’t know what this is then watch the video called Foam Rolling)
3 – learn to ice skate (thanks Karyn Millar for offering to teach me – am excited)
4 – snow shoe at least once (doing the snow shoeing with a fondue and Baileys at the end)

Life is exciting – I am down 30lbs (probably more since I weighed in), down over 40 inches in total, entered a Showdown Challenge (3,500 channels in Nth America) and did all the videos for that, was voted one of the top 100 channels and now have a chance to win becoming one of the top 10 channels. By winning that I will get to work with Ben Silverman (one of the creators of Biggest Loser), get a Hollywood makeover trip and be featured in Success magazine next year. I find out first weekend in November.

 

                           

Trying to add photos so you get these for now – yes, all to do with my journey

Noticeable changes – most for me not the world :)

Well I thought it was about time to blog again. It has been nearly 3 months since I last blogged – guess writing here weekly isn’t working 🙂 It is the same as anything  – all about commitment and priorities – don’t you hate it when you know how to fix something but it seems sooooooooo hard – sigh, it all seems so easy so why isn’t it?? Because we are human – I know , you all thought I was superhuman, but no, I am only human – most of the time anyway – lol.

I started my blog to write about my journey to a healthier me and if it helped someone along the way then that is awesome. What we think of as simple things are an inspiration to others and we don’t realise it. I have had many people tell me this over the last few months   – they tell me here, on facebook and in person. I have had the most amazing support and compliments from my family – this is always so important to us no matter how hard we try to deny it – we are all like the panting puppy looking for the pat on the head and the good dog from people.I never gave myself enough credit for this and figured everyone else had the scoop on what to do and I was the last one to catch on – this is why I am not super human – lol. I am looking into brain foods at the momemt to help  me with this . Is ice-cream one ???? I think it should be 🙂

I am now on my second 90 day challenge – 4 months of changes. Am I excited about my results? Is the Pope a catholic????? That would be a yes – lol. I am down 24lbs and 38 inches. I do however have to relook at my eating as I am not eating enough and I am losing muscle mass. Not eating enough – who would have known that not eating enough is my issue right now – well not eating enough good food. I think I went all out today and ate waaaaay too much – and don’t feel so great at the end of the day which is good as I know it wasn’t all the right food.

I really hate counting calories but have to look at them to until I am in the habit of eating enough good foods. Counting calories is about equal in my book with scrubbing toilets, cleaning up vomit, weeding and looking after cats – yep not liking it at all – hahahaha. I will suck it up and do it – looking after cats is still a maybe not 🙂

It is the little things I am noticing right now that people don’t think of. Things I couldn’t do before, were hard or show me how things are changing. These are things I am sure most overweight people don’t talk about. Some of them are –

*being able to press the button (down beside my seat) to open my gas tank – without opening the door

*putting my foot on a chair to tie my shoes and being able to lean over the top of my knee to tie them instead of having to lean around my knee

*sitting in a booth at a restaurant and not have my stomach pressed against the table

*realising your underwear is too big – before you lose it as you walk around 🙂

*being able to curl up in the corner of the couch with my legs on the couch 🙂

*having to wear rings on different fingers because they are now too big

*having people tell you your butt is disappearing and so are other parts of your body – this is a good thing – lol

*being able to get in behind the steering wheel in my car with more ease and in one movement rather than trying to slide in and shuffle in the seat – have you ever tried to shuffle behind a steering wheel? Not such a pretty sight 🙂

*being able to lift my legs higher when trying to put on my pants – flexibility here I come – is raising them like my arms too flexible?????

I have to say that one of the best things about my health journey is the activites I can now do or am not embarassed to try. It is also looking at my photos and realising just how well I am doing – we don’t see it ourselves in our mirror when we see ourselves every day. It is trying on a piece of clothing and seeing it is looser. It is seeing someone after a long period of time and the first words out of their mouths is not hello but “holy sh*t you are shrinking”.

I will never be a Barbie and nor do I want to be. I want to be a woman of strength and a picture of health. I don’t know what my goal weight is as it all depends on what I am doing as I get closer to finding my optimal healthy body 🙂 I could be a boxer, a weight lifter, a swimmer, a cyclist – anything is possible and to quote Under Armour – What’s Beautiful……… is going to be what I decide it to be.

Boxing with Kalib – an MMA fighter

So my trick to getting to a healthier me? Exercise every day (my goal for the end of my 2nd 90 day challenge), finding the exercise you enjoy and passionate about,  eating healthy and well, enjoying life and laughing every single day. I have the last one down pat 🙂

4 months into my journey

To everyone out there on a journey to a healthier you – stay with it as it didn’t come on overnight, don’t worry if you are not perfect as  I certainly don’t want to be with my eating and exercise, enjoy life, find things you love to do, lean on your friends and family for support and laugh a lot. Hope this helps and feel free to message me any time.

Changing my lifestyle

The last few months have been full of changes, decisions, lifestyle changes and also lots of laughs with great friends and family. They have been amazing months and I am truly grateful. Some changes were easier than others. The outcome of some changes were also easier than others but I still know all the changes I have made have been in my best interest.

I have now been on a 90 day challenge for 30 days. So far I have got rid of 16.75 inches, 6.4 pounds and 1% body fat. When I first heard the inches I was excited and I guess I felt I had also lost a lot of weight. Not so and this is why I don’t weigh myself very much. I am still however very happy with the results. The photo is me at the beginning and four weeks into the challenge.

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To get where I am on the challenge I have changed some of my eating habits – wasn’t like my old ones were good for me. Drive through meals when I was on the run, bread because it was soooooooo yummy, fries at White Spot as they were endless with your meal so of course I had to have a plate of them BEFORE my meal even came!!! and of course then there was the candy and sweets. Now I always figured that there were fewer calories in a packet of sweets or cookies (biscuits) if you ate them all within one day of buying them. There isn’t??? Wrong information – again!! I started buying bulk candy (lollies) as I didn’t get a full packet but only ate a little one. All works in theory until you are buying several in bulk and more often. Ok – so now you all know I am not perfect but come on…………. I am sure you have all done something similar if not the same with any of the things I have mentioned.  I can’t be the only one in the world to do this – seriously??? NO way – well I hope not 🙂

I now start my day with a shake (highly nutritious and I add all sorts of things to it) then I try to eat every 2 1/2 – 3 hours to get my metabolism fired up as it was slower than a wet wig before. I try to eat salads, veggies, protein of almost any kind and another shake somewhere in the day depending on what I am doing – all planned of course. Until I am at my healthy/goal weight I am staying away from bread, rice, pasta and potatoes. I am not saying this if for everyone but for me they are my screaming foods. Oh and ice cream – even though I call it food of the Gods. I call them my screaming foods because they scream at me. People say that certain foods are calling them – mine get a microphone, ampliphier, sound system and scream at me. I am surprised you can’t all hear them. I avoid bakeries (Cobb’s Breads), ice cream stores and of course New York Fries – the poutine is amazing (fries, gravy and yes, cheese curd). The reason I avoid them at the moment is because I start drooling at the smell of them – for some reason staff and customers find that offensive – not sure why.

On saying I have cut these out it does not mean I will never have them again in my life. It is just at the moment a better choice to not have them until I can control myself and only have a small portion. I have decided that whoever came up with saying I have Will Power is totally wrong. I have lots and lots of Will Power – I will eat the fries, I will eat the bread, I will eat the ice cream, I will eat the candies, I will eat the chips – I think you get the idea and I am starting to drool on my computer. I have decided it should be called the Won’t Power, or the Staying Away Power or the Portion Control Power. I will also every so often have my day when I will have a treat of something which may include one of these foods and with my new Portion Control Power I will just have a small taste.

As you can see in the photo I have had amazing results in four weeks. That is believe it or not, no exercise involved – unless you call sitting up in bed sit ups, or going to the bathroom squats – lol. I starting this week with some form of exercise. Now how come exercise and the gyms don’t scream at me like food does???? Time to reverse roles – is there an operation involved in this ???? No easy fix unfortunately – just brain power and work needed. Will keep you posted on this. Everyone has the Fitness Power, Healthy Power or Exercise Power – I am off to find mine.

Well Christmas is over – all the temptations of food – both healthy and unhealthy. I often wonder why we present so much over indulgence for just one day. I have to admit that having Christmas in Australia was probably healthier for me than in Canada., I say that as we have cold meats and salads for my family lunch. Despite this we still have Christmas pudding and brandy sauce – a tradition I want forever 🙂 Although I don’t walk away from the table feeling completely bloated with turkey, mashed potato, gravy, vegetables then pie, ice cream and all the goodies – I still walk away fuller than I want to. What is it about tempatation on a table that we gorge ourselves. Maybe others don’t get as full or overeat as much as I do, or others do. My favourite saying is – I can resist anything but temptation.

I often wonder what it is that makes me want so much or everything there is. I almost feel like I will be missing out on something or have regrets if I don’t eat it all. I think the trick is to have smaller tastes of everything then I don’t feel like I will regret not trying something. I know people look at me – and other people who need to get rid of excess weight – (I don’t say lose weight as this implies I want to find it again) and they think or sometimes say to me – just eat smaller portions, just stop eating when you are full, just do more exercise. Sometimes it is not always that easy for people. I have had a hard time in the past realising that I am full or stopping eating before I get full. It is something I am working very hard on – I don’t need to clean my plate entirely.

I have spent a lot of my life working on staying smaller. I was always taller, bigger than my friends as I grew up. People would tell me this and it seems to have given me the impression in my head that I was always fatter than my friends. Not true but it sticks in your mind and does a lot of damage mentally. I remember one guy when I was about fifteen telling me that I would be really beautiful if only my legs weren’t so big. Isn’t it funny how the negative can hang around and affect us for so many years but we don’t remember the positive things people say to us.

New Year resolutions are coming up, January when everyone wants to get fitter, healthier, smaller, bulkier – change something. I agree that I need to change but this time I am doing it for the right reasons. I am doing it for ME – I want to be healthier, fitter and able to do more things. It is embarrasing when I need to ask for a seatbelt extender on planes – yes I do for most flights – I do it quietly and most staff give it to me quietly and I did say most. I don’t want to pretend I dislike doing things because they have a weight limit (horseback riding) or because I am scared I will break something or not fit the seat.

I am not making excuses – I got myself to where I am now through choices. I WILL get myself out of where I am now. All I ask it that you don’t judge people on the few minutes you may see them. You cannot assume that it is as simple as it seems when you see someone who needs to drop some weight, get  healthier, put some weight on (just as hard sometimes – look at the eating disorders) and don’t critisize them. You have to be very careful on what you say to people and how you say it. You never know when the words you use can cause them to slide back into old habits. I am not blaming everyone else but just asking people to be aware of how you treat people. Also be very aware of how you look at people – despite all the layers of excess weight we have a heart and it gets heart just as easily – sometimes easier as we are hurting already.

I am a lot stronger mentally now, have more confidence and faith in myself, have a family and a ton of friends who love and support me but not everyone does. I am making it my resolution this coming year to get healthier and support anyone who needs help doing the same. The start has to come from within but once it does the support  is vital. My goal is to help people feel good about themselves and all who know me know that it will always include laughter and a lot of positive talking. Give a compliment and mean it, receive a compliment with just “Thank you” and treasure it. Love life and be comfortable in your skin and accept people who are comfortable in their skin – not everyone wants to be a perfect 10 even if you think they should be. Confidence is way more inspiring no matter what size you are. Have a wonderful 2012